Just Brothers
by CuriousPoet
Summary: There were no words that could come out of Rin's mouth as he thought about his sick fantasies that have been eating at him for as long as he could remember. He knew he shouldn't have but he couldn't help it. No Warnings. Maybe language and one kiss. rin x yukio


There he lay with eyes wide open, glaring straight into mine. An unknown color twirled in his eyes giving it a nice touch to the blazing sun behind his left and my right side of his face. He gave a handsome smile; both ends of his mouth curling upwards yet revealing no teeth. My heart strained against the inner surface of my chest. My heart rate going as fast as it could. But _why?_ My heart skipped a beat, possibly even two. It was hard to tell with him sitting so close and I took a deep inhale of his scent. _Amazing _cologne quivered up to my nose but _god_ was it delightful. I paused for a second… maybe even two. Who knew? I have been feeling this ever since I could remember. But never did I once kiss him. Only hugs were brought to the surface. Nothing more would ever reach the tips of our lips other than the welcoming food our dad cooked for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

For a whole week, this is how it has been. Waking up, eating, taking a shower, going someplace, eating again, doing homework, eating again, and spending infinite amounts of time just talking about whatever came to mind to each other. To this smarter and younger boy and my dumb and stupid self… just talking until dad forced me and _only me_ to go to sleep. I'm sick. You can say it already. I am a complete failure. Just say it already. Just do it. His beautiful laugh and wicked tricks but his comforting tone so delicate and precise. Why did he have to be who he was? I know who I like. Shiemi. She is the one I like… right? I talk about her all the time and I can't wait to see her.

But all those thoughts vanish when I look at this beauty. This man, only a few minutes and/ or seconds younger than I, which, as far as I know, doesn't have an interest in a specific girl. I can't give up Shiemi. After so many giggly conversations with her blushing; after me making Shiemi like me I shouldn't treat her like shit. I don't want to use her feelings. My heart will die out someday. My sick fantasy is reaching its limit. I am disgusting. You know it already. I am a complete turnoff. Just say it already. Just do it. I stare at him with pleading eyes that say 'tell me you feel the same'. Of course he can only respond with the most genuine smile.

"Your work is good but the answers aren't correct. Here, review my notes again." This understanding boy, now so clueless. Of course, I can only smile and reply with an _okay_ as I slip closer underneath his scent. Is this wrong? It is not like we were once strangers. No, it has always been this way. He has grown and so have I. Since children, I felt this way. Wanting to marry him and kiss him and make him only mine. But I couldn't do that. There is no possible way. I am nineteen, him only being a few minutes or seconds younger than I. I couldn't tell now. All I can think of is tasting those sinful lips that now scream attention. A treat teasingly being dangled in his hands in front of me.

Stop restraining yourself and say it! I know I am a person with many interests with an indecisive mind. I like too many things. I am a disgrace. Your mind is screaming it even though you try to block it out with all your might. I... can't stand to live like this anymore. I sit up and push back onto my heels, the underneath of my knees start getting sweaty. Just… say… it. Tears prick at the corner of my eyes and I almost sob. _Almost_. He proceeds with his soothing voice still in the background but then stops.

"Rin, are you alright?" My throat becomes dry and I find my heart beating faster by the second. I roll up the soft edges of my night pants; the red, plaid pattern staring back at me. Just… do… it… My head lifts up; my gaze dancing around to meet his. Just say it already. The tears are already streaming down my cheeks and pooling on to the bed sheets. I….. am a disgrace. "Are you okay? Rin, what's wrong…. Are you hurt? Rin talk to me!" He shakes me slightly and my head turns to the door noticing how it stays closed.

He places his hand on my left cheek and forces me to turn into his concerned gaze. You already know who it is and the tears on my face seem to show it. My heart flying out of my chest, making it visible for all to see. He can see it. He sees me struggling. He sees my pained face in his hands. He sees me crying. But he doesn't see my feelings that are held deep inside. He doesn't see me close the gap. I can't believe what I am doing….. Just say it….. I can't believe I love him this way... Yukio. My own _brother._

I am so sorry…


End file.
